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I’m not one to get too personal with blog posts - but this one is a little bit. So you can stop reading now if you don’t want to bore.
Recently I discovered an emotion that I was previously unfamiliar with.
re•morse |riˈmôrs|
noun
deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed : they were filled with remorse and shame
If you have never felt it, you are either a really bad person, or a really good person… or at least a good person yet to make a mistake so inexcusable and deplorable that it brings upon such a negative emotion.
Obviously for privacy I’m not going into detail - but I lost a close friend, maybe forever, and am walking a tightrope to try and keep from losing another.
I cheated. I lied.
Now I’m frantically trying to pick up the pieces of what was a rather vacuous decision. I thought I could conceal the dirty secret, and pretend it never happened. However, it turns out that I do have a conscience and it got the better of me. The truth was revealed, and hearts shattered away leaving only detestation and disgust. Then the truth reared its ugly head again, and disappointment and contempt replaced a once strong and validated friendship.
The worst part about remorse is the fact that there is no positive light to look towards. Nothing positive to look towards and help deal with the emotional pain. The only ‘good’ thing to come of it is the lesson to be learnt.
Never again will I. Never again.
Tags: personal
