Archive for the ‘Drunk’ Category

Italian Spiderman Movie - Episode 1

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

I know I haven’t been around much lately - but this I just HAD to post about. I have hinted towards Italian Spiderman before with their trailer.

Feast your eyes on the latest and greatest video on the web - created with care, love, beer and sprinklings of gold by the angels geniuses at Alrugo Entertainment.

Praise our new hero - ITALIAN SPIDERMAN!

I just can’t wait for the next episode!!

If any of you out there also want the delicious soundtrack to Italian Spiderman created by Enzo Bontempi (I believe he is the long lost cousin of Dario from the Tokyo City Sex Shooters), it is available on iTunes (store link) for modern MP3 digital, or if you want to keep it true to Italian Spiderman, enjoy it on Vinyl 45rpm available at RecordKicksDotCom. I have already bought my copies, I just love pretending that I am Italian Spiderman… drinking whiskey, chain smoking whilst knocking off baddies with shotgun. Ahhh…

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Go Karts, Imperial Pints and Famous People

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Well, it has been a little while since I wrote a story about my drunken quests.

This story kicks of just last Saturday, as I started the evening with a few races at a local Go-Kart for one of my best mate’s Birthday.

Now the karts weren’t that good… in fact they were quite dodgy. However, the one I was in did have a bit of go if you drove it properly. Because it was just a private joint, there weren’t any lap timings or official races. You just get to thrash the karts for a while.

The sessions only go for 10 minutes. But after about 10 minutes, the ol’ arms are starting to get somewhat sore. After two sessions of 10 minutes, it feels like you’ve done 100-odd push-ups.

Somehow I nearly managed to flip it. Again, private track; there were pot holes, the tires that lined the edges were loose, which made for an interesting time as the track was constantly changing as you dodged pot-holes, tires, spun-out karts etc.

Afterwards we quickly decided that we wanted dinner, and somehow fluked a table at a local hotel for FIFTEEN people! To just rock up without a booking, at a pub that is normally booked out, and still get a table was very lucky.

I had myself some garlic prawns… which were somewhat ordinary. Wasn’t terribly impressed, but what can ya do? (Eat it was the option I chose.)

A few beers downed at the pub over dinner, and everyone retreated back home to clean themselves up ready to go out. Fortunately I lived just up the road (well, kinda), so myself, the birthday boy and his girlfriend stopped off at my place. I poured myself a bourbon and cola as I quickly cleaned up and had a shower.

Soon enough, the taxi arrived and we arrived in North Adelaide. The chosen watering hole was The Archer. Quite a good choice for a Saturday night. Not too busy, but enough of a crowd to feel that it isn’t empty. Problem is, whenever I go to the Archer, my memory is always very vague of actually leaving the place. For this I blame their pints. Pints at the Archer aren’t normal pints. They are imperial pints. So once you’ve downed 4-5 of the bastards, vision blurs and the mouth slurs.Bumped into quite a few people I knew, which is no surprise really, I mean, it is Adelaide.Although, it was a little strange being out in town the the people that I was with. My good mate, the birthday boy, is actually a real country boy. So being at a popular destination in the city with him was a little different, and he did feel a little out-of-place. Whereas I was in my element and loving it.

So several pints later we were kicked out of the pub as the doors closed. There was a breathalyzer machine in the foyer that we threw a few bucks in to see how drunk we were. I blew 1.something-high, and I still had more beer that was settling itself into my blood.

Yep, I was drunk.Now the memory does become rather vague at this point. But I do remember a few key events. I don’t remember drunk dialing a few people… whoops! I also don’t remember getting to the Casino. However, I did. Now I’m not a gambling man. I’ve thrown a few dollars here and there on roulette, but that is it really.

One of the blokes I was stumbling about with wasn’t keen on betting either, so we went for a stumble. And, we stumbled upon Ryan Fitzgerald… commonly known as Fitzy (the radio presenter). For whichever reason, we thought that it would be a good idea to buy him a drink. As drunken blokes do when they meet someone famous… they slur lines like, “Ah gidday Fiizy, yoor a farken lergend.” - And exactly that we did. However, to his credit he did chat to us for a while, which was quite cool.

The birthday boy eventually rocked up, and wanted to throw some money on the table. I said I only really knew how roulette works… which is partly a lie, but I couldn’t be fucked walking anywhere else, and they were right next to us. Then he asked how it works… I had a few attempts at constructing a sentence, but eventually gave up and just said, “Bet red…”, “Bet odd…”, “Bet top half… huh? Erm… jus’ put it there.” Soon enough he was $50 up thanks to my good advice lucky suggestions.

Then we lined up outside in the taxi rank. Time seemed to pass fairly quickly, and the rank wasn’t that busy, as it was about 4am. Just before a taxi arrived for us, an old neighbour friend of mine turned up out of nowhere. I knew she lived nearby, and we invited her along to split the cab. But then we all got out at my place, and sat in my loungeroom chatting for quite some time. Eventually I made it to bed at something past 5:30am… well, that was the last time I checked the clock. It was quite some time after that before I actually got to sleep.

Problem was… I had to be up for work at 10:00.Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.Yes, ’sucked’ is somewhat an understatement. I was so ridiculously tired, and hungover, and no doubt smelt of booze. But I made it through one of the busiest days we’ve ever had at work. Oh-my-god my head was sore.

After what felt like years, the day ended, and I was able to go home. Okay, I had to play basketball at 8. Hmm… it’s just past 6. Nap? Yes, definitely. So I set my alarm, laid down and was probably asleep before I had even closed my eyes.

A few minutes later… well, what felt like a few minutes… my phone alarm is going off. God damn… reach over and pick it up, and it stopped. I pull myself around to get a look at the time… wait a minute. That wasn’t the alarm, that was it ringing! Missed call… oh shit… it’s 9pm!!!

Fuck.

Slept through the whole thing. Ah fuck it, I’m going back to sleep.

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Ashden’s 21st Birthday

Monday, August 13th, 2007

I would really like to have a full story of the weekends events. However I really don’t have much to say. Mostly because I was too drunk to know what the hell was going on.

We all ventured out to Wolf Blass for the evening. Very nice winery, with a very fancy function room for us to trash. The night started pretty relaxed with Ashden’s older brother playing a few quiet songs on the guitar and everyone enjoying beer, wine and peanuts. I saw a few people that I haven’t seen in a long time, so it was nice to catch up. Ashden’s sister (who is a mother) turned up, and even Ashden turned around going, “Oh wow, who is tha… AHHHHHH!!!” as he came to the shocking realisation that the hot babe walking through the door was his sister. (Sorry Ash, but I had to put that one in).

For most the night, local rock band Avedis were rocking out and playing all the popular rock tunes for everyone to sing and dance to. It was fantastic, those guys have great talent.

We had to leave the place by 12am, at which point a bus would pick us up and take us to the pub. So we wanted to make sure we could drink as much as we could before it arrived.

I had a brilliant idea. The best way to get drunk and beat the clock, was to stand behind the bar. Where I started serving everyone drinks. I managed to consume almost as many drinks as I was serving… gulping down the fine Shiraz in a way that it really should not be drunk.

So, from about 11pm onwards I have no memory. Really quite a poor effort, as it was a pretty awesome night I’d imagine. There are a few photos which give me quick glimpses of the night… but mostly I have no recollection whatsoever.

I have a vague memory of being at the Tanunda Hotel, but that was mostly me trying to drink water and throwing it up in the toilets. I got myself a lift back to Ashden’s, but no one was home. I had forgotten my phone when we left, so it was inside. The house was locked. I had no idea what time it was, who, if anyone, was home. Or what the hell I was going to do. Luckily Ashden’s car was open, so I crawled in and snuggled up in the passenger seat. I had a quick look for blankets or ANYTHING to try and keep warm… nope. I froze ALL night. Soooo cold.

Eventually in the morning, Ashden’s dad found me and let me inside. I had a really long hot shower… which I managed to keep upright for… as I believe that I was still rather drunk. Never mind, keep on truckin’, have to get to work!

Yes, work. It was a challenge. Red Bull and caffeine pills kept me going. Right through until after basketball (yes, basketball) that night. I was ROOTED.

Who else has had any working drunk experiences?

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Pubbaware Party

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

Last Friday night, my house mate kindly asked me to make myself scarce because he was having his girlfriend (who, I might add, I am yet to meet) coming for dinner for the evening. He better bloody well have got laid.

Since I was poor after having paid out nearly $500 in bills this week, I mentioned to Dad that I might come home to the farm for the evening. However, he was going on a Pubbaware party, and said I was welcome to come along, and that he’d even shout me dinner and drinks!

Well, I’d be stupid to knock it back… but what in the hell is a Pubbaware party?

You know how women have their Tupperware parties all the time, pretty much just as an excuse to kick back and drink bubbly with the girls, no boys around. So, the boys (this is in the country remember, so everyone knows everyone, and pubs are limited) decided that they were sick of the girls having all these parties, and the boys sitting home with the kids. They came up with the ‘Pubbaware’ idea, which is really neat. A bus is organised to go around and pick everyone up from set locations, then drives out to some random Pub that few people have been to before, they have a bar meal, and drink large quantities of beer. Then the bus drops them off at the end of the night. Simple. Effective. Brilliant.

I felt rather young hanging out with a bunch of 40 year olds drinking beer and talking about farm stuff (well, they were talking, I just stood there and half listened). But all in all, it wasn’t a bad evening.

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